Things I Have Hated About Being Fat

These are some of the things I have hated about being fat. I am soooo looking forward to overcoming most or all of these!!!

      1.       Feeling self-conscious all the time

2.       Not looking good in anything I wear

3.       Not being able to buy normal-sized clothes

4.       Not being able to cross my legs

5.       Small bathroom stalls

6.       Airplane seats, and the embarrassment of having to ask for a seat belt extender

7.       Feeling embarrassed to work out at the gym

8.       Avoiding mirrors

9.       Avoiding being photographed

10.   Seeing myself in photographs

11.   Being told by doctors, family members, etc. that I need to lose weight. Like I don’t already know that?!?!

12.   Not feeling attractive to the opposite sex.

13.   Feeling like no one could love me.

14.   Being passed over for job opportunities.

15.   Listening to others talk about needing to lose weight, when they have maybe 10-15 pounds to lose!!

16.   Running into people who haven’t seen me in a long time, and wondering what they think of me.

17.   Being disgusted with myself for allowing it to get to this point

 

The Good Stuff

I thought today I should focus on a major aspect of having bariatric surgery, which is the resulting health benefits of the weight loss. For some, this is the primary reason for having the surgery. For me, it's an added benefit (my primary reason for having the surgery is to look better and feel better about myself).

So here are some statistics on improved health after weight loss from gastric bypass and sleeve gastrectomy:

                                                     Sleeve                                                 Bypass

Type 2 diabetes                   56% resolved, 37% improved         84% resolved, 91% resolved or improved

High Blood Pressure           49% resolved                                   67.5% resolved

High Cholesterol                 43% resolved                                   94.9% improved

Sleep Apnea                       60% resolved                                   86.6% resolved


It is interesting to note that they took me off of my cholesterol medication as soon as I had the surgery. They will monitor my blood pressure and hopefully I will be off of that medication soon too.

Perhaps the biggest health benefit that I look forward to is the ability to be more active. Carrying excess weight starts a vicious cycle in which it is harder to exercise, so you gain more weight, so it is harder to exercise... and so on.

I view this surgery as a means for me to accomplish weight loss that I have not been able to achieve on my own, and as a jump start to a new and improved lifestyle! Perhaps the biggest battle ahead is the one in my miind... figuring out the psychological aspects that led me to where I am now.

The Beginning of the Journey

Let me just start by saying that I have fought a weight problem since I was about 18 years old. That being said, I wish I weighed now what I weighed then when I thought I was fat! Like most dieters, I have tried, succeeded temporarily, and ultimately failed at many weight loss programs. Mine include NutriSystem, a total liquid diet, low fat diet, Weight Watchers,  phen/fen, Atkins, and probably a few more along the way that I have forgotten. When I reached the age of 40, I pretty much said forget it, no more dieting, and let come what may. Well, it did. I reached my highest weight at (gasp!) 268... and I'm just shy of being 5'4". This picture is me at my worst! I hate even posting it here, but it is what it is... or rather, it was what it was!

After recovering from a divorce that hurt me deeply, I spent about a year contemplating weight loss surgery. The "lap band" was the latest technique and I thought it might just be the way for me to go. in the meantime, the husband of a good friend of mine did a LOT of research and decided to have laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy, or "gastric sleeve" surgery. After his success (he lost 125 pounds in one year), my friend decided to have the same procedure and began the medical/insurance process. I soon took the plunge and began the process myself in July 2012.

The gastric sleeve procedure is relatively new. It's been around since about 2005. If you're not familiar with laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy, it is a procedure that removes about 75% of the stomach, leaving a narrow, banana-shaped tube referred to as a "sleeve." The primary reason for weight loss is the severe restriction of the amount of food that can be consumed; however, there is also believed to be a reduction in the production of the hormone grehlin, which causes hunger. So why did I choose the gastric sleeve over gastric bypass or gastric banding? Well, in my mind it was a simpler procedure. By that I mean that there is no "re-routing" of the digestive tract as is done in gastric bypass surgery. The amount of excess weight lost for each of the procedures is almost the same. I did not consider gastric banding at all after reading of poor results, complications, and the long-term likelihood of wear and tear on the stomach.

So after a few months of medical tests, psychological evaluation, a sleep study that found I had obstructive sleep apnea, and classes at the bariatric center, I was finally scheduled for surgery on December 19, 2012. This picture was taken in July 2012, when I was at around 245 pounds, the same weight as when i went in for surgery.

The hard part began one week before surgery, when I had to go on a strict liquid diet. The purpose of this week of liquids only is to shrink the organs to make the surgery easier. I hope it was easier on the surgeon, because it sure was hard for me! Especially with all of the Christmas parties going on! Anyway, I made it through the week with only one or two small slip-ups. :)

My wonderful boyfriend volunteered to be the one to take me to Dallas for the surgery, and we drove from Amarillo to Dallas on December 18. We reported to the hospital at 7:00 a.m. on December 19 and the surgery was done that morning.

I consider myself to be pretty tough in terms of discomfort and pain, but this was on the par with the total hysterectomy I'd had years ago. In addition to the pain, however, there was nausea. Ugh... I hate nausea! I spent two days in the hospital (including my 49th birthday on December 20), and although it was a beautiful place - almost like a hotel - I was SO glad to be released! The drive back to Amarillo was long and uncomfortable, but I made it. I had a bag full of medications when I left the hospital, including pain medicine, but I never took any because it was liquid (you're not allowed to take any whole pills for 5 weeks following the procedure) and it tasted bad. I later rethought that decision... and it doesn't taste too awful!

So, now for some of the little details you may not know about life after bariatric surgery.
1. Any pills must be crushed or dissolved in liquid for five weeks after surgery.
2. NO ibuprofen... EVER. Tylenol only.
3. Must give yourself an injection of a blood thinning drug daily for the first three months after surgery to prevent blood clots.
4. You can't drink anything with your meals. Somehow that allows you to eat too much?
5. You must eat very slowly, and chew your food until it is pulverized!
6. Be careful of too much sugar or carbs... it can cause "dumping syndrome," which is rapid heartbeat, sweating, cramping, and diarrhea.
7. During the first few months after surgery, you are likely to experience diarrhea, or constipation, or both.

For the first few days after surgery, I really didn't feel well at all, and I thought, "What have I done??" But each day I get a little bit better, and when I got on the scale after one week and had already lost 18 pounds, I decided I would be just fine!

And so begins my journey. My weight loss goal is 120 pounds. My sister suggested I take a picture of myself each month to show my weight loss progress, which I quickly compared to the monthly photos during a woman's pregnancy, but a good idea nonetheless.

Thanks for reading, and please don't hesitate to ask me anything about all of this!