1 Year Anniversary and Thoughts on Turning 50

December 19 marked the one year anniversary of the surgery that changed everything for me! I feel like I have been given my life back, and my only regret is that I didn't do it much sooner!  Besides my physical appearance, the biggest change is in how much energy I have. I used to take naps all the time, and now it is rare for me to do that. I still love naps, just not as a way to pass the time or escape from life.

I have lost a total of 93 pounds, which still amazes me. I have lost 6 inches from my bust, 8 inches from my waist, and 13 inches from my hips. Downside? I have really ugly flabby excess skin on my abdomen and thighs. They say you have to give your body/skin time to adjust, but often times people need plastic surgery for the excess skin. Time will tell, I guess.

Here are some before and after pictures, as painful as it is for me to look at the before shots!! 

Christmas 2013

Christmas 2012

July 2009

December 20 was also a major milestone for me as I celebrated my 50th birthday. I didn't want to be alone, so I threw myself a birthday party. Some of my really good friends came and spent the evening sharing good times.

December 2013

Turning 50 doesn't really feel any different than turning 30 or 40 did. Perhaps that is because I feel so much better physically and emotionally than I have in years! However, reaching this half-century milestone does cause one to reflect on life, the past, and the future. It's another birthday and Christmas without having a partner, but I'm ok. I trust that God will bring my perfect mate at the right time. Until then I will enjoy my family and friends, and always be thankful for them!

Merry Christmas, my friends!

Fear and Faith

As I write this post to mark 11 months since my surgery, I have to admit that I have some fear. And to tell you that fear is the opposite of faith! My fear is that I will regain the weight I have lost. The devil is working overtime trying to get me to buy into that, and I refuse!! God has performed a miracle both in my physical appearance and my spiritual life, and I give all the glory to God! I am a precious child of His, and he loves me and wants me to be happy! He dd not bring me this far to fail, so I persevere!! I pray that you all are blessed as well, and join me in praising God for the good things he has done in our lives.

I love you all, and thank you so much for your friendship and support.

P.S. I have now lost 90 lbs. :)  I have had some people tell me that I shouldn't lose any more, but I would like to lose another 10-15 lbs.  But if I don't, I'm ok with that.  I am pretty happy where I am!

Ten Months Post-Op

I'm a little late in posting this, but the photos were taken at ten months.  My total weight loss at ten months was 87 pounds, and as of today is 89 pounds. I'm really, really enjoying shopping for new clothes, but it sure is expensive!!

Komen Race for the Cure 2013

me with my friend and boss, Nathalie

This year I participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for the first time. I had always considered it, but as with many other events in the past, my weight and self-consciousness had held me back. This year I signed up and was so excited to be there! The morning was cool and crisp and the crowd was invigorating. I had so much energy and totally enjoyed the walk! 

and with my friend, Gerald



and my friend, Christie

The Beginning of the Journey

Let me just start by saying that I have fought a weight problem since I was about 18 years old. That being said, I wish I weighed now what I weighed then when I thought I was fat! Like most dieters, I have tried, succeeded temporarily, and ultimately failed at many weight loss programs. Mine include NutriSystem, a total liquid diet, low fat diet, Weight Watchers,  phen/fen, Atkins, and probably a few more along the way that I have forgotten. When I reached the age of 40, I pretty much said forget it, no more dieting, and let come what may. Well, it did. I reached my highest weight at (gasp!) 268... and I'm just shy of being 5'4". This picture is me at my worst! I hate even posting it here, but it is what it is... or rather, it was what it was!

After recovering from a divorce that hurt me deeply, I spent about a year contemplating weight loss surgery. The "lap band" was the latest technique and I thought it might just be the way for me to go. in the meantime, the husband of a good friend of mine did a LOT of research and decided to have laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy, or "gastric sleeve" surgery. After his success (he lost 125 pounds in one year), my friend decided to have the same procedure and began the medical/insurance process. I soon took the plunge and began the process myself in July 2012.

The gastric sleeve procedure is relatively new. It's been around since about 2005. If you're not familiar with laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy, it is a procedure that removes about 75% of the stomach, leaving a narrow, banana-shaped tube referred to as a "sleeve." The primary reason for weight loss is the severe restriction of the amount of food that can be consumed; however, there is also believed to be a reduction in the production of the hormone grehlin, which causes hunger. So why did I choose the gastric sleeve over gastric bypass or gastric banding? Well, in my mind it was a simpler procedure. By that I mean that there is no "re-routing" of the digestive tract as is done in gastric bypass surgery. The amount of excess weight lost for each of the procedures is almost the same. I did not consider gastric banding at all after reading of poor results, complications, and the long-term likelihood of wear and tear on the stomach.

So after a few months of medical tests, psychological evaluation, a sleep study that found I had obstructive sleep apnea, and classes at the bariatric center, I was finally scheduled for surgery on December 19, 2012. This picture was taken in July 2012, when I was at around 245 pounds, the same weight as when i went in for surgery.

The hard part began one week before surgery, when I had to go on a strict liquid diet. The purpose of this week of liquids only is to shrink the organs to make the surgery easier. I hope it was easier on the surgeon, because it sure was hard for me! Especially with all of the Christmas parties going on! Anyway, I made it through the week with only one or two small slip-ups. :)

My wonderful boyfriend volunteered to be the one to take me to Dallas for the surgery, and we drove from Amarillo to Dallas on December 18. We reported to the hospital at 7:00 a.m. on December 19 and the surgery was done that morning.

I consider myself to be pretty tough in terms of discomfort and pain, but this was on the par with the total hysterectomy I'd had years ago. In addition to the pain, however, there was nausea. Ugh... I hate nausea! I spent two days in the hospital (including my 49th birthday on December 20), and although it was a beautiful place - almost like a hotel - I was SO glad to be released! The drive back to Amarillo was long and uncomfortable, but I made it. I had a bag full of medications when I left the hospital, including pain medicine, but I never took any because it was liquid (you're not allowed to take any whole pills for 5 weeks following the procedure) and it tasted bad. I later rethought that decision... and it doesn't taste too awful!

So, now for some of the little details you may not know about life after bariatric surgery.
1. Any pills must be crushed or dissolved in liquid for five weeks after surgery.
2. NO ibuprofen... EVER. Tylenol only.
3. Must give yourself an injection of a blood thinning drug daily for the first three months after surgery to prevent blood clots.
4. You can't drink anything with your meals. Somehow that allows you to eat too much?
5. You must eat very slowly, and chew your food until it is pulverized!
6. Be careful of too much sugar or carbs... it can cause "dumping syndrome," which is rapid heartbeat, sweating, cramping, and diarrhea.
7. During the first few months after surgery, you are likely to experience diarrhea, or constipation, or both.

For the first few days after surgery, I really didn't feel well at all, and I thought, "What have I done??" But each day I get a little bit better, and when I got on the scale after one week and had already lost 18 pounds, I decided I would be just fine!

And so begins my journey. My weight loss goal is 120 pounds. My sister suggested I take a picture of myself each month to show my weight loss progress, which I quickly compared to the monthly photos during a woman's pregnancy, but a good idea nonetheless.

Thanks for reading, and please don't hesitate to ask me anything about all of this!