Changes and Struggles

At nine months post-op I am reflecting on what has changed, what I've learned, and what I still struggle with.

Many things have changed, and some of them have been very interesting and even surprising to me. For instance, my perception of a serving of food. I didn't used to think much about a monster plate of food being served in a restaurant, and I'd probably eat a good portion (if not all) of it. Now things like that are almost overwhelming to me. I look at it and think, "that is at least FOUR meals!!" When I'm serving someone else, I'm not quite sure how much food to put on their plate. The feeling is almost one of confusion, or maybe just uncertainty. On the other hand, I am still struggling with eating a little too much to the point that I get too uncomfortable. On a few occasions I've actually thrown up, but thankfully that hasn't happened very often. That is probably my biggest challenge - knowing when to stop. Even after nine months, I am still learning.

I've written before about the disconnect between my physical size and the perception in my mind, and how hard that is to reconcile. When I shop for clothes, I still pick sizes that are too big and have to go out of the dressing room and get the right size. It absolutely amazes me that I am wearing a size medium in shirts and a 10 in pants! I used to wear a 2X!!!

So what have I learned? That I can get by with a lot less food!! That although my physical body is not the real me, it certainly affects my level of self-confidence, my attitude, and my outlook. And that by not worrying about me and what others think of me all the time, I can focus on others and participate in more activities. I can't even tell you how much more energy I have! I am enjoying Jazzercize classes and will walk in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure next Saturday. I'm more willing to go to events now that I'm not ashamed of my physical appearance. And I look forward to a healthy, active life from now on!

Blessings to all of you, my friends!

P.S. I lost five pounds this month for a total of 85 pounds lost.

Time for Eight Month Update!

Eight months and 80 pounds gone!  I am soooo glad to say that I will never see those pounds again!  I am now comfortably wearing a size 12 and sometimes a 10.  I can honestly say that I have not been this size since 1990!  Yes, I'm talking 23 YEARS!!!! 

Praise be to God for this amazing surgery and transformation!  Yes, I am still the same person I was, but I was sort of subdued.  I feel like I am back to my real self - confident, outgoing, and happy!

The weight loss is still sporadic, so I guess that is how it's going to be.  I go a week or more without losing anything, and then I drop 3-4 pounds.  Oh well, that's OK with me as long as I am still losing.  Some people have asked whether I am at my goal.  The answer is no, I am not.  At my doctor's viist last month, the doctor told me that I was 12 pounds from the total that they would attribute to the surgery, but that's not the total I could lose.  Since that appointment, I have lost another 7 pounds, and my goal is to lose another 20.  BUT.... I don't want to look too thin and gaunt, so I will be looking for input from all of you reading this!

Thank you all for your continued support!

Seven Months (and a few days!)

It's been seven months now and I saw the doctor last week. It was Dr. Hodges, one of Dr. Barker's associates. I just love her! She's always so positive and down to earth, and her husband has had bariatric surgery so she knows what it is like.

When I weighed in I was at a total of 73 pounds lost, which she said is fantastic! She said I am 12 pounds away from the total weight loss that they would attribute to the surgery. I want to lose more than that, and I think I can. I'm still feeling great and my energy is off the charts!



at the Hilton Garden Inn - Norman, OK

At the Six Month Mark

Well, here I am after six months... 67 pounds lighter and feeling great!  My whole attitude has changed, and people around me have noticed.  I have my confidence back!  Someone at work the other day actually told me that my walk is confident, and another person said I walk like I am on a mission.  And I do!  My mission is to make the most of my life and to be happy doing it!  I spent way too long being overweight and it undermined everything about my life.

If you are reading this and are considering weight loss surgery, my recommendation is to do some research and find a doctor you trust. 

Although I don't see Dr. Barker every time I go in, his staff is top notch and ready to help.  Here's the link:  Barker Bariatric Center  I can't wait to earn my "Barker Babe" t-shirt!!!

the Little Black Dress

Today marks five months since my surgery and I have lost a total of 63 pounds. Still feeling really good, and still losing. I stalled out for about two and a half weeks, but finally lost a few pounds this week. I'm having lots of fun buying new clothes!

My sister came to visit last weekend for Mother's Day and we went shopping at Dillards, where I got this cute little black dress... and it's a size 14! I can't even remember how long it's been since I wore a 14!

It was so good to see my sister! She has been such a support to me along this journey - well really, all my life! She even decided to try my protein drinks.  :)

One of my favorite new things is PB2, or powdered peanut butter you can mix into your drinks. It's really yummy in a chocolate drink!  Check it out at www.bellplantation.com  I just noticed a Recipes tab on the website... gotta go investigate!

Four Months Post-Op

Here I am at the four-month mark.  I know I keep saying it's hard to believe, but it really is!  I have now lost 52 pounds and I'm ecstatic! My weight loss hasn't been much this month, but I definitely have lost inches. As I have said in previous posts, I seem to be losing inches, as my clothes are definitely looser!  I have bought smaller sized pants in anticipation! LOL

A strange thing has happened that I've noticed, and my friend who also had this surgery is experiencing too -- she calls it "weight loss snobbery."  Although I would not consider myself a snob, I have noticed that when I see extremely overweight people, I want to go up and tell them, "There is something you can do about this!"  I am not judging them at all, it's just like I want to share with them the wonderful success I've had, that they can have too!

 

The other thing I'm experiencing that I'm not quite comfortable with is that people are looking, and even staring at me.  I know that there has been a major change in my appearance, but I am not comfortable with all of the looks I've been getting!  Although I am really appreciative of the compliments I've been getting, I am very self-conscious about this!  Anyway, I"m still very happy with my results, and can't wait to see what next month brings!

 

 

Revelations

me with Laurel Gerald

Seems like I have quite a few revelations these days, about this journey I'm on and about myself.  For years now I've been avoiding having my picture taken, especially if it was a whole body shot. But I'm feeling pretty good these days, even though I am far from my goal weight.  These pictures were taken last weekend at an Alpha Phi luncheon, and I'm not embarrassed by them! It may not sound like much, but it's a big deal to me!

me with Abie Freeman

 
 


all the Alpha Phi's