Milestones and Mirrors

I know it's been quite a while since I posted, but it seems like I haven't had much to talk about (besides a lot of personal stuff).  However, I recently reached a major milestone and made an amazing purchase!

I was recently spending some leisurely time shopping at Hobby Lobby (LOVE that place!!) and I happened upon the aisle with mirrors.  The sign said, "All mirrors 50% off."  I have to tell you... I have HATED mirrors for more years than I can count, and I avoided them as much as I could - especially full length ones!  BUT... miracle of all miracles, with my weight loss I have found that I CAN face the full length mirror!  So I bought one (at half price, did I mention that??)!  I hauled it into my house and leaned it up against the wall.  And I looked at myself without fear.  For those of you who have battled weight and self esteem issues, you understand how signficant this is.  Seriously, I don't believe I have owned a full length mirror my entire adult life. I truly cannot remember having a full length mirror in my home as long as I've had my own place, which is since 1984!

And now for my major milestone... as of April 5, 2014, I have lost 100 pounds!!  This journey has been so very amazing that I have a hard time describing it!  My entire life has changed.  I am eager to begin each day, instead of waking up each morning dreading what I would wear and what people would think of me.  I now have total confidence in myself, instead of always wondering what people are thinking of me on a physical level that has nothing to do with me as a person, my job capabilities, or performance.  Over the past year, my increasing confidence has resulted in my ability to stretch beyond my doubts and accomplish things I would not have attempted before! 

So what's next?  Well....I know that I am able to eat more than I could following the first few months after surgery, and that really scares me.  My game plan is to eat sensibly, not deny myself too many things (as it only results in me binging), and to continue to monitor my weight.  I weigh myself every morning, and although some may say that is too often, it helps to guide my decisions each day.

I plan to maintain this weight from now on!!

The Amazing Shrinking Boobs

Did that title get your attention?! It's true... along with the rest of me, my boobs have shrunk! I bought a bunch of new bras several months ago, but I noticed they were getting too big.  So yesterday I bought new ones... in a B cup!  LOL.... never thought I'd see that size again!  Most women would probably be a big upset about it, but not me!  Smaller boobs is because of smaller me, and I think I still have enough to have a few curves.  

Today marks 13 months since my surgery.  I went to the doctor on Friday for my one year followup.  It wasn't Dr. Barker, because he's not always in Amarillo, so I saw Dr. Hodges, whom I love!  She is just a sweetheart and so willing to answer any questions.  She pulled out my "before" picture and she was so excited!  I have surpassed what they thought I would lose by 8 lbs.  I have lost 95 lbs.  She gave me a big hug!  :)

I'm not finished yet, though!  Stay tuned for more!!!

1 Year Anniversary and Thoughts on Turning 50

December 19 marked the one year anniversary of the surgery that changed everything for me! I feel like I have been given my life back, and my only regret is that I didn't do it much sooner!  Besides my physical appearance, the biggest change is in how much energy I have. I used to take naps all the time, and now it is rare for me to do that. I still love naps, just not as a way to pass the time or escape from life.

I have lost a total of 93 pounds, which still amazes me. I have lost 6 inches from my bust, 8 inches from my waist, and 13 inches from my hips. Downside? I have really ugly flabby excess skin on my abdomen and thighs. They say you have to give your body/skin time to adjust, but often times people need plastic surgery for the excess skin. Time will tell, I guess.

Here are some before and after pictures, as painful as it is for me to look at the before shots!! 

Christmas 2013

Christmas 2012

July 2009

December 20 was also a major milestone for me as I celebrated my 50th birthday. I didn't want to be alone, so I threw myself a birthday party. Some of my really good friends came and spent the evening sharing good times.

December 2013

Turning 50 doesn't really feel any different than turning 30 or 40 did. Perhaps that is because I feel so much better physically and emotionally than I have in years! However, reaching this half-century milestone does cause one to reflect on life, the past, and the future. It's another birthday and Christmas without having a partner, but I'm ok. I trust that God will bring my perfect mate at the right time. Until then I will enjoy my family and friends, and always be thankful for them!

Merry Christmas, my friends!

Fear and Faith

As I write this post to mark 11 months since my surgery, I have to admit that I have some fear. And to tell you that fear is the opposite of faith! My fear is that I will regain the weight I have lost. The devil is working overtime trying to get me to buy into that, and I refuse!! God has performed a miracle both in my physical appearance and my spiritual life, and I give all the glory to God! I am a precious child of His, and he loves me and wants me to be happy! He dd not bring me this far to fail, so I persevere!! I pray that you all are blessed as well, and join me in praising God for the good things he has done in our lives.

I love you all, and thank you so much for your friendship and support.

P.S. I have now lost 90 lbs. :)  I have had some people tell me that I shouldn't lose any more, but I would like to lose another 10-15 lbs.  But if I don't, I'm ok with that.  I am pretty happy where I am!

Ten Months Post-Op

I'm a little late in posting this, but the photos were taken at ten months.  My total weight loss at ten months was 87 pounds, and as of today is 89 pounds. I'm really, really enjoying shopping for new clothes, but it sure is expensive!!

Komen Race for the Cure 2013

me with my friend and boss, Nathalie

This year I participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for the first time. I had always considered it, but as with many other events in the past, my weight and self-consciousness had held me back. This year I signed up and was so excited to be there! The morning was cool and crisp and the crowd was invigorating. I had so much energy and totally enjoyed the walk! 

and with my friend, Gerald



and my friend, Christie

Changes and Struggles

At nine months post-op I am reflecting on what has changed, what I've learned, and what I still struggle with.

Many things have changed, and some of them have been very interesting and even surprising to me. For instance, my perception of a serving of food. I didn't used to think much about a monster plate of food being served in a restaurant, and I'd probably eat a good portion (if not all) of it. Now things like that are almost overwhelming to me. I look at it and think, "that is at least FOUR meals!!" When I'm serving someone else, I'm not quite sure how much food to put on their plate. The feeling is almost one of confusion, or maybe just uncertainty. On the other hand, I am still struggling with eating a little too much to the point that I get too uncomfortable. On a few occasions I've actually thrown up, but thankfully that hasn't happened very often. That is probably my biggest challenge - knowing when to stop. Even after nine months, I am still learning.

I've written before about the disconnect between my physical size and the perception in my mind, and how hard that is to reconcile. When I shop for clothes, I still pick sizes that are too big and have to go out of the dressing room and get the right size. It absolutely amazes me that I am wearing a size medium in shirts and a 10 in pants! I used to wear a 2X!!!

So what have I learned? That I can get by with a lot less food!! That although my physical body is not the real me, it certainly affects my level of self-confidence, my attitude, and my outlook. And that by not worrying about me and what others think of me all the time, I can focus on others and participate in more activities. I can't even tell you how much more energy I have! I am enjoying Jazzercize classes and will walk in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure next Saturday. I'm more willing to go to events now that I'm not ashamed of my physical appearance. And I look forward to a healthy, active life from now on!

Blessings to all of you, my friends!

P.S. I lost five pounds this month for a total of 85 pounds lost.

Time for Eight Month Update!

Eight months and 80 pounds gone!  I am soooo glad to say that I will never see those pounds again!  I am now comfortably wearing a size 12 and sometimes a 10.  I can honestly say that I have not been this size since 1990!  Yes, I'm talking 23 YEARS!!!! 

Praise be to God for this amazing surgery and transformation!  Yes, I am still the same person I was, but I was sort of subdued.  I feel like I am back to my real self - confident, outgoing, and happy!

The weight loss is still sporadic, so I guess that is how it's going to be.  I go a week or more without losing anything, and then I drop 3-4 pounds.  Oh well, that's OK with me as long as I am still losing.  Some people have asked whether I am at my goal.  The answer is no, I am not.  At my doctor's viist last month, the doctor told me that I was 12 pounds from the total that they would attribute to the surgery, but that's not the total I could lose.  Since that appointment, I have lost another 7 pounds, and my goal is to lose another 20.  BUT.... I don't want to look too thin and gaunt, so I will be looking for input from all of you reading this!

Thank you all for your continued support!

Seven Months (and a few days!)

It's been seven months now and I saw the doctor last week. It was Dr. Hodges, one of Dr. Barker's associates. I just love her! She's always so positive and down to earth, and her husband has had bariatric surgery so she knows what it is like.

When I weighed in I was at a total of 73 pounds lost, which she said is fantastic! She said I am 12 pounds away from the total weight loss that they would attribute to the surgery. I want to lose more than that, and I think I can. I'm still feeling great and my energy is off the charts!



at the Hilton Garden Inn - Norman, OK

At the Six Month Mark

Well, here I am after six months... 67 pounds lighter and feeling great!  My whole attitude has changed, and people around me have noticed.  I have my confidence back!  Someone at work the other day actually told me that my walk is confident, and another person said I walk like I am on a mission.  And I do!  My mission is to make the most of my life and to be happy doing it!  I spent way too long being overweight and it undermined everything about my life.

If you are reading this and are considering weight loss surgery, my recommendation is to do some research and find a doctor you trust. 

Although I don't see Dr. Barker every time I go in, his staff is top notch and ready to help.  Here's the link:  Barker Bariatric Center  I can't wait to earn my "Barker Babe" t-shirt!!!

the Little Black Dress

Today marks five months since my surgery and I have lost a total of 63 pounds. Still feeling really good, and still losing. I stalled out for about two and a half weeks, but finally lost a few pounds this week. I'm having lots of fun buying new clothes!

My sister came to visit last weekend for Mother's Day and we went shopping at Dillards, where I got this cute little black dress... and it's a size 14! I can't even remember how long it's been since I wore a 14!

It was so good to see my sister! She has been such a support to me along this journey - well really, all my life! She even decided to try my protein drinks.  :)

One of my favorite new things is PB2, or powdered peanut butter you can mix into your drinks. It's really yummy in a chocolate drink!  Check it out at www.bellplantation.com  I just noticed a Recipes tab on the website... gotta go investigate!

Four Months Post-Op

Here I am at the four-month mark.  I know I keep saying it's hard to believe, but it really is!  I have now lost 52 pounds and I'm ecstatic! My weight loss hasn't been much this month, but I definitely have lost inches. As I have said in previous posts, I seem to be losing inches, as my clothes are definitely looser!  I have bought smaller sized pants in anticipation! LOL

A strange thing has happened that I've noticed, and my friend who also had this surgery is experiencing too -- she calls it "weight loss snobbery."  Although I would not consider myself a snob, I have noticed that when I see extremely overweight people, I want to go up and tell them, "There is something you can do about this!"  I am not judging them at all, it's just like I want to share with them the wonderful success I've had, that they can have too!

 

The other thing I'm experiencing that I'm not quite comfortable with is that people are looking, and even staring at me.  I know that there has been a major change in my appearance, but I am not comfortable with all of the looks I've been getting!  Although I am really appreciative of the compliments I've been getting, I am very self-conscious about this!  Anyway, I"m still very happy with my results, and can't wait to see what next month brings!

 

 

Revelations

me with Laurel Gerald

Seems like I have quite a few revelations these days, about this journey I'm on and about myself.  For years now I've been avoiding having my picture taken, especially if it was a whole body shot. But I'm feeling pretty good these days, even though I am far from my goal weight.  These pictures were taken last weekend at an Alpha Phi luncheon, and I'm not embarrassed by them! It may not sound like much, but it's a big deal to me!

me with Abie Freeman

 
 


all the Alpha Phi's



Protein Power

I haven't posted in almost a month - what a slacker!  In the past month I haven't lost much weight, but I seem to be losing inches. I can easily wear a size 16 in pants and sometimes a 14.  :)  I've been hitting some sales to get new clothes and not spend too much money on them!

Last week I went to a group session at my doctor's office and another of the staff physicians spent about an hour and a half with us, talking about protein, vitamins, and answering questions. If I didn't fully understand the importance of getting enough protein before, I do now! I am supposed to get 70-85 grams of it per day. That's kind of hard to do when you can't eat much, which is why the protein drinks are so important.



Speaking of protein, I finally found one that I like - Herbalife! Go to www.herbalife.com to learn more.
I signed up to be a distributor so that I can get a discount since I'll be doing this forever. So if you're interested in trying any Herbalife products, give me call! They have weight loss products, vitamins, skin care, and more.


 




I also use Jay Robb unflavored egg white protein powder... you can mix it into lots of things. I put a scoop in each of my protein drinks to add 24g of protein to them. www.jayrobb.com

Three Months Post-Op

Today marks three months since my surgery.  It's hard to believe it's been that long, and yet my physical change has been pretty remarkable!  I've lost 49 pounds as of this morning.  I was hoping to hit 50, but it didn't happen - at least not yet! I have gone down three sizes in clothes, which is really nice!  If I keep losing at my current rate of about 10 pounds a month, I'll reach my goal by November. 

My new pics are below.  I didn't have anyone here to take a full length photo, so I held the camera as far away as I could!!  hahaha

Jumping Up and Down!

I have been losing steadily for the last week or two, and this morning when I got on the scale, I finally broke 200!  What a rush to see 199!  It's been YEARS since I have been under 200 pounds, and the best part is knowing that I'll NEVER see that number again!!!

I also tried on almost every pair of pants in my closet this morning, and only a few fit. I have a very important presentation to make at a meeting this week, so I went shopping. And lo and behold, no more plus sizes for me!!  Another reason to celebrate!!

Praise God for this miraculous surgery and the results! He is so good to me! :)

Food, Exercise, and the Blizzard of 2013

Snow drift outisde my front door

We experienced an official blizzard in Amarillo, Texas today! We got 19.2" of snow with winds gusting up to 75 mph. Thankfully, the plant was closed and I didn't have to drive 30 miles to work in this weather! The plant is also closed tomorrow... maybe I will try to dig out of my driveway.

Snow was halfway up my door and left an imprint!

So as I sat here in my nice, warm house today, I thought about many things, I pinned lots of recipes on Pinterest (because I still love to cook!), I made a pot of chili, and I didn't eat a single bite of it. I always think something sounds so good, but then when I take a bite of it I want to spit it out. It just doesn't taste good. No wonder I am losing weight! I really hope I get past this strange feeling and am able to enjoy food again. Yesterday I went to a restaurant for lunch after church, and the sandwich I got was one of my former favorites. I ate a couple of bites and I just didn't like it. I told the waiter I was finished, and he just couldn't believe it. He asked, "Did you like it?" Of course I told him yes. Oh well.

I joined Jazzercise this weekend. My sister (the dancer in the family) and I used to go to Jazzercise back in the 80's and it was fun. I have two good friends who attend regularly so I thought I'd give it another try. It was fun and I think I will be more likely to go to the classes than go to the gym, where I was just walking on the treadmill. So I signed up for a year. :)

I have lost two more pounds now for a total of 41. Yippee!!

Two Month Pics

It's hard to believe that it's been two months since my surgery. Two months since a major life-changing event!  I am soooo glad I had this surgery. I still have a lot of work to do in many areas, but I am down 38 pounds and feeling good. 

Getting NSYNC

No, not the boy band... I'm working on getting my mind and my stomach and body in sync. And it's not easy, by the way. I've noticed a couple of things over the past month or so. The first thing is that I am having a hard time seeing the physical change in me. The way I can tell is by my clothes. It still surprises me when I put on things and they are too big.  :)

The other thing I am working on is learning when to stop eating. I read on a bariatric surgery forum/website about this and it's true:  when you think you want just "one more bite" of food... DON'T DO IT!!!  Being overly full is VERY uncomfortable, and if it's bad enough you'll throw up! So I just remind myself, "This is not the last meal you'll ever eat!" Maybe if I had used this philosophy earlier in life, I wouldn't have had this weight problem!

One thing I hate, but am also working on, is not being able to eat things that I love in in large quantities. I get the old, familiar feeling I used to get when I wanted to REALLY indulge in a particular food. Now sometimes I'll think, "Oh I can't wait to eat _________ (fill in the blank, for instance Mexican food)." I now have to savor every bite, because I'm not going to get many before I'm full for that meal!  I'm getting used to being asked two things when I dine in a restaurant: 1) Would you like a box for that? and 2) Was there something wrong?  It's actually kind of funny to see the look on their faces when I have barely eaten anything. LOL

It Moved!!

Well hallelujah... after over a week of the number on the scale staying the same, it finally moved this morning and I lost 1.5 pounds. That brings my total to 34.5 and it feels really good!

I have so much trouble trying to swallow pills, and I have to take a lot of them! I take six capsules of multi-vitamin a day, biotin, iron, and an acid blocker. The iron tablet makes me almost throw up! But overall I am feeling good, my energy is good, and I'm still glad I had the surgery.  :)